Throwback Thursday: Wedding Dress Shopping

You know how people have guilty pleasure TV shows? Well, I have to admit that one of my guilty pleasures is Say Yes to the Dress! The funny thing is that I think more than half of the brides on the show are completely ridiculous with their $10,000 budgets and wanting bling and "wow factor" and blah blah blah. There are, of course, the brides who have been through trials and are finally getting to celebrate a wonderful occasion. I love hearing those stories. However, regardless of the type of bride, I still enjoy watching the show when I am struck with the mood to have a Netflix marathon. Every time I watch an episode though, I am reminded of my own wedding dress and how I ended up choosing it and purchasing it!

In the same way that I had limited criteria for my flowers (not heavy to carry and no baby's breath), I also only had a few requirements for my wedding dress. I wanted it to be chiffon so that it would be flowy as I liked the Greek goddess look, and it needed to be light and easy to manage so that I could sit and stand without issues and go to the bathroom by myself! I had read what in my mind would be considered HORROR stories of brides needing their maid of honor or bridal party to hold up their dress while they went to the bathroom. One of my college friends even said she didn't go to the bathroom for 14 hours straight because of her elaborate dress. There was no way that that was going to be me.

My requirements were pretty minimal mainly because I was very particular about the things I didn't like, so it was very easily narrowed down. I didn't like satin because in my mind it looked like lingerie, and I also didn't necessarily like buttons down the back or the the corset look (though I clearly understand why that would make fitting into a dress a LOT easier). But I knew that when I finally went to try on dresses, I had to keep my mind open and try on things I might not have thought to try on.

I did some casual dress browsing with my mom at Group USA when we just happened to be at Jersey Gardens. Nothing really came out of that except that my mom finally knew why dresses cost so much because she thought I'd be able to pick up a $99 dress from the David's Bridal sales. It was good to hear because the dress I actually really liked (other than the low neckline that I was hoping could be adjusted) was this Maggie Sottero dress for about $950 or so. Doesn't it totally look like something I would wear considering it's a v-neck with tightness in the waist?

David's Bridal was really where I decided to look next. Howard and I got engaged in July 2010, and I was browsing in August 2010! But I had no intention to purchase, but I figured it would be fun at this point in time to just search. When my mom, Howard, Matt and I had plans to go eat barbecue at Big Ed's in NJ, I called David's Bridal to see if I could just walk in and search the sale racks. They suggested I make an appointment so I could be taken care of although it did make me nervous at that point! Though many brides enjoy the idea of having someone help them choose and try on gowns, I'm just not that kind of shopper. I liked setting my own pace, trying things on my own, and asking only my mom if I needed another opinion. But I guess I didn't have much of a choice!

Our lunch wasn't as tasty to me because I was just feeling anxious. If you know me, you know I do not like new experiences! I'm the kind of person who likes to be prepared for everything that's going to happen, so not having had time to read reviews or anything like that meant I couldn't relax. But I did the best I could to enjoy lunch!

I'm pretty sure I ended up bringing home most of my lunch, but that's not anything strange. I do that all the time even when I'm not going wedding dress browsing afterwards, haha.

After lunch, we hit a farm or something where my mom was searching for some plants. From what I remember, that was the real reason why we were actually in NJ, and everything else just happened since we were in the area. Howard and I took this picture when we were surrounded by all the trees and the nursery.

It was time to finally head to David's Bridal! I wasn't expecting much because I know some people just don't like the place, but I didn't have high hopes about finding my dress. I just needed a taste of what it was all about. I had looked through their dresses online a few times and favorited a bunch. I printed out the sheet and handed it to the consultant I was assigned. We went to the aisle with my size so she could pull the dresses I requested. While we were going through them, I pointed out others that intrigued me, and she snagged those too. She even pulled one off a mannequin for me as we were walking to the dressing room because it caught my eye.

The actual trying on of the dresses went smoothly too. I purposely wore boy shorts that day so that I wouldn't have to worry about being seen by anyone since boy shorts cover more skin than what some girls wear at the beach! The consultant was excellent though and literally just handed the dresses to me through the curtain opening and helped me zip up or tied the back only if I needed the help and asked her for it. I'm not sure if that's what was normal for the David's Bridal attendants or if she could tell I wasn't all for being exposed if I didn't have to be. I mean, I've been to countless doctors' appointments and had two surgeries before, so I'm not really someone who's nervous about stuff like that, but I definitely feel there's a difference between a doctor and an employee of a wedding salon even if both have been in the business for ages! 

The first dress I tried on was the chiffon dress I saw online that didn't really look that great in the picture on the website. Later on when read the reviews, I saw that a lot of people wrote that it didn't look special in the picture but was completely different on. This was pretty much exactly what I wanted except for the fact that it didn't have straps. Well, I'm definitely not spoiling anything by saying that this was the dress I ended up purchasing at $450 (haha, it's currently $300 right now after YEARS of being available!)! But of course, I had to try on more dresses.

My mom took these pictures and said the back was very pretty. I didn't really even get to see just how detailed it was until I had the dress at home! It gave it something extra so that it wasn't too plain in the back. I actually thought I wanted a dress without a train too, but my mom and the consultant said that it would look nice during the ceremony if I had a train and that it would end up being bustled for the reception (that's a whole different story for another day!). So at the end of the appointment, I did end up buying this dress in petite to possibly save money with alterations. It still ended up needing hemming anyway when I got my actual dress, so I really should have bought the regular size.

I do have to say that even though my mom and I did love this dress, I didn't have any emotional breakdown or strong attachment to this gown when I had it on. There was no crystallizing moment that confirmed this was my dress. I guess I'm not the type of person to have that kind of epiphany in the first place.

The other dresses I tried on were just nothing compared to the first one. As you can see, the dress I ended up buying was the only one where I didn't feel as if I needed to put a Photobucket sticker to cover any areas I just don't feel like showcasing on my blog, haha. Personally, I also feel that some of them had a cheaper look to them including the satin one below that looked like a comforter. That definitely stuck in my head after an episode of "Say Yes" where the sister of the bride kept saying, "It looks like a down comforter."

Other dresses just weren't as flattering either. I wasn't a fan of the sweetheart neckline, and if the tightest part of the dress wasn't accentuating my waist, I looked extra short and dumpy.

But like I said earlier, I knew I needed to keep an open mind. That's why I even put on a dress that had this kind of back. After losing weight before the wedding and worrying that my dress wouldn't be tight enough around me (I did not want to be the kind of bride who kept tugging her dress up throughout the whole day), I definitely understood why people go for this corset back. If you gain weight or lose weight, the tying would be adjusted that day without any issues!

I feel that I may have tried on more dresses than what I have pictured, but at the same time, I think this really may have been it! From what I recall, there was another dress or two that I chose that I knew wouldn't work after trying the others on. I joked with my mom that some of the dresses would require a trusty ol' black tank top that I like to place under a lot of my sweaters and tops! In fact, I wear them so often, that they eventually rip and I have to buy new ones! I guess I should be happy that Forever 21 sells them so cheaply so I can just replenish my collection with new ones, haha.

The other dresses were definitely unsuccessful, and so I put on the original dress in the petite size and just knew it was the dress. The consultant said that with David's Bridal, they don't know just how long they will have a dress available. It could have been a sales pitch, but I wasn't willing to risk it. I would have been upset had I lost out on the opportunity. Plus, there was a $50 sale from the original $500 price, so that meant I kept to my "no more than $500" plan! I did obsessively check the website thereafter until our wedding day, and the price NEVER dropped lower than what I paid.

It was definitely unexpected that my casual browsing would result in my purchasing my wedding gown! Though I had to wait almost two years before I could actually wear it, I'm glad it worked out the way it did. It was just my mom and me discussing what worked and didn't work. Even though I initially thought I'd show Howard the dresses I tried on since I didn't feel as if I was seriously shopping, the consultant and my mom suggested that I not, so he and my younger brother sat outside on one of the couches throughout the entire appointment!

And no, I technically didn't need help going to the bathroom, haha. It was so easy to slip on and off that my cousins Danielle and Nikki just unzipped the back so I could step out of it and then step back in after I was done! That in itself definitely confirmed that this dress was the one!

Wedding: Dreamlite Photography

A Review of Our Wedding Photographers: Dreamlite Photography (website / Facebook)

As I stated in my own personal vows, I was never quite ready to be a bride even though I was definitely ready to be a wife.  Though my high school years were filled with hours spent online looking at bouquets and favors and mentally making lists of the things I liked, when it came down to actually doing it 10 years later, I wasn't interested.  All of the items on my "I-really-want-to-have-these-things-for-my-wedding" became a short "I-only-NEED-3-things" list.  Those things included the following: (1) a simple dress that didn't require an entourage for me to do basic tasks, (2) a church and a reception venue that had natural lighting and no frou-frou qualities, and lastly (3) a duo of great photographers.  I just wanted to be married and not deal with all the intricacies of wedding planning for our day in May 2012.

I didn't know where to start when it came to the photography, so I posted on my Facebook wall and asked for suggestions.  We got links to photographers that had more of a "couture" and runway style and photographers that cost an arm, a leg, and quite possibly a few internal organs.  It wasn't until one of my church friends recommended Dreamlite that the search for this particular vendor was over in my mind.  I sent the link to my guy, Howard, and he agreed that they had the exact look and style we wanted.  We wanted pictures that captured the candid moments of our wedding as well as those posed shots that wouldn't look stiff and rigid.

Contacting Dreamlite was the next step, and it only confirmed that we had found our photographers.  From that email onward, Dreamlite became Jon and Howie for us.  It was no longer just a photography vendor but two guys that we soon grew to know more personally.  Their patience for us was astounding!  I initially contacted them in July of 2010, and we didn't officially sign any contracts until August of 2011!  During that year, we exchanged many emails about their photo packages and constantly changing dates.  We also asked them for recommendations about other vendors.  Jon and Howie were willing to answer any questions about wedding planning even if it had nothing to do with photography.  We really appreciated their honesty and genuine opinions about all the details of the industry.

A year after that initial email, we met with Jon and Howie at my local Panera.  I was grateful that they were willing to come in from New Jersey to Staten Island.  Howard and I showed up earlier than the meet time, and we sat in the car for a little bit because I was nervous!  I admit that I don't like meeting new people and dealing with new situations, but eventually, we went in and found that they were already there set up!  My first thought was a positive one because I too am a stickler for not just punctuality but being earlier than the designated time!  The meeting flowed as I asked them what I thought were silly questions.  Jon and Howie answered everything with such professionalism and humility that Howard and I felt relieved that they had wanted to meet with us.  We never felt pressured, and they were the ones that actually encouraged us to think more about whether they would fit into our wedding day and to look over the contract to ask them anything else.  At that point, we really didn't have many more questions since they had shown us sample albums and gone through the minutiae of the contract.

Before the wedding, we discussed via email the schedule for the day and any specific shots that we wanted.  They told us that if we came up with anything else, we should let them know.  I sent them a few strange requests (ex. I wanted pictures with the chairs at the venue because they were my favorite!) and a picture that we wanted to recreate.  They kept a list of everything as well as the photo on their phones so that I didn't have to worry about anything on the day of.  It was a relief having responsible people on our "team" for our wedding.

I thought that it'd be awkward having photographers take pictures of us all day long.  We didn't have a chance to go through our engagement session before the wedding because we were too busy, but it ended up not being an issue at all.  Jon was scheduled to be at my house in SI, and Howie went to Howard's house in Brooklyn.  My bridesmaids and I literally just went about our day getting ready as Jon took pictures of our hair and makeup along with some shots of my cousins making their breakfast and my eating it.  I really enjoyed seeing those pictures of everything we did.  Jon then went around and took pictures of details in my parents' house, including my mom's calendar with our wedding date on it and scattered wedding things we had around.  My mom was surprised that he was taking my shoes out on the balcony since the wood was rather worn and weathered, but Jon made it work!

During that hour or two of preparation, I had a few ideas pop into my head as well.  It was very easy to tell Jon what else I wanted, that I wanted pictures of my Build-A-Bear from Howard (yes, I am 27 with my own teddy bear) and I wanted him to capture my putting my vows together on cardstock since I'm interested in papercrafting.  I never felt any awkwardness even though I thought it'd be odd having people I didn't know very well in the house, but it just never crossed my mind.  Jon knew exactly how to handle all situations, and he was extremely polite and respectful to my parents who were just meeting him for the first time.  My parents warmed up to him very quickly as did my bridesmaids.  I was loving the way my morning was going!

Jon got some last few shots before heading to the church.  We had discussed earlier whether or not they'd be in the limo with us, but they preferred driving to and from the venues on their own.  It worked out better that way because they were there to get arrival shots.  It was also nice to have some moments in the limo with my parents and my 2 bridesmaids.  Jon and Howie also communicated with each other to make sure that Howard was in the church where he couldn't see me before the ceremony.  They literally made things easier on us and took charge of a lot of the things I would normally feel I had to handle myself.

The benefit of having two photographers working together is that not only did we have separate "getting ready" photos, we also got two different views during the ceremony.  One stayed at the front, and one stayed at the back when I was walking down the aisle so we didn't feel like anything was missing when we got our pictures.  They caught the sentimental moments, the glances and faces Howard and I made to each other, and even the funny ones, like when our best man handed us the wrong rings!  They really captured the moments, which was important especially since we didn't have an official videographer.

When the ceremony was over, we had to take group photos at the front of the sanctuary.  This was a little stressful for me because both of our families are rather large.  Plus, everyone and their grandmother had a camera, which meant we were standing there with the same people for longer than needed!  I was getting a little impatient because I wanted to get to our venue at Snug Harbor to take pictures with our bridal party.  If Jon and Howie felt any of the impatience that we were feeling, they didn't show it at all.  What was great was that they took a picture of the huge group taking pictures of us!  It definitely was a memory that we might not have wanted to have at the moment, but it's funny to see it now when the wedding is in the past!

Eventually we left the church and took the limo to the location of our reception.  We dropped off our belongings in the bridal suite and then headed out on the grounds to take photos.  Jon and Howie worked very well as a team, coming up with ideas for spots to take photos, testing the lighting, and doing all the technical stuff that I didn't understand at all.  I just really enjoyed the fact that I could trust them with the photos and not worry about anything.  After some great shots with our bridal party, Jon and Howie sent them back to eat during the cocktail hour so that Howard and I could have a more private session for just the two of us.  This was suggested to us by Dreamlite, and we couldn't have been happier about it!  We didn't really think much about it earlier, but if they hadn't encouraged us to set that time aside, we would've lost out on the majority of the pictures Howard and I really love!  They helped us out, giving us pointers in how to pose since before this point, Howard and I were all about those one-handed shots! We also told them during our Panera meeting that it was a little strange for us to be kissing in front of others, so they were very mindful of that fact.  It worked out extremely well that we didn't have an audience during our session!  It was just a lot more personal and private, which we really enjoyed!

When we returned for the reception, things moved very quickly.  I didn't see Jon and Howie as often since I was so consumed with everyone that was around, but in reality, they were everywhere because we got pictures of everything!  I wanted pictures of the food; they got it.  I wanted pictures of all my DIY touches; they got them.  The two-person team really works because one of them was always around to capture moments while the other could photograph details.  At one point, they asked for our rings and got some creative shots that Howard and I both love!

Howard and I had to go through the long process of taking pictures with every table.  It was a lot of "Oh, he just went to the bathroom" or "I don't know; she was just here," and I was wanting it all to be over with faster.  Howie followed us around without any problems, and I apologized numerous times for how long it was taking, but it didn't bother him at all.  I guess Jon and Howie have seen and experienced it all!  While we were dealing with those necessary but "boring" photos, Howie got a great shot of the table photo in the screen of someone's iPhone!  I liked how even in the more typical rounds of photographs, the two of them could still see other creative opportunities.

When the dancing finally picked up during the last hour, Jon and Howie caught so many of the hilarious moments.  They weren't afraid to literally get down on the floor to get the right shots.  Those were some of my favorites as well because everyone was just having fun, and they caught their laughter and enjoyment on camera.

At the end of reception, we said goodbye to our guests and were about to say goodbye to Jon and Howie.  Thankfully, they had kept in mind my request for photos with THE chair, so they set up a little area for a quick photo shoot.  I'm so glad that they remembered my list of must have photos so that it didn't have to cross my mind.  I was so relieved that the day was over, but I was also extremely glad that Dreamlite had made the day go by so smoothly!

What made the whole experience working with Dreamlite even better was that they posted teaser photos on their website the very next day!  Even though we got to see some pictures from our friends on Facebook, it was amazing to get a glimpse of what our professional photos would look like!  Then instead of having to wait months and months like I know others have had to do, we got our two wedding CDs within a month!  Would we recommend choosing Dreamlite?  You betcha!  Will we personally find a way to use them again?  Definitely!  Even though it's still way too early for this (we've been married for less than 3 months; I don't know why people are asking ...), Howard and I have already discussed how fun it'll be to get some family shots once we begin having kids.

First Dress Browsing Experience

Yesterday was the first time I had ever looked at bridal gowns in real life since getting engaged.  I think I may have looked at them only two times beforehand; one time was when my aunt was getting married and my cousin and I were 2 of her bridesmaids, and the other time was just in passing.  Since my dad needed to go to the Jersey Gardens Mall before we had dinner, I had the opportunity to check out GroupUSA with my mom.

It was a sudden visit, so I didn't have a chance to write down the dress styles that I liked.  The ones that I saw on the website that I considered were as follows:

Empire Waist Mesh Grecian Strapless Dress ($449.99)

 

Haltered Chiffon Gown with Beaded Halter ($349.99)

I really don't know what would look the best on me, and I actually like many different styles (recently I've liked the Greek goddess look with the empire waist).  The things I do know for a fact is that I like the look of chiffon gowns over the look of satin (don't know taffeta or organza to really comment, but some dresses that are taffeta had a stiffer look that I didn't like).  I like the flowiness.  Plus, it looks like it'd be easier to go to the bathroom!  Haha, I know that sounds odd, but that's one of my main concerns!  A friend from college just got married in a rather large gown, and she said that she only went to the bathroom once in 14 hours because it was such a hassle and she needed help!  Um, no thanks.  I'll use the restroom myself.

It helps to know what I don't like either.  The things I really would prefer not to have are the buttons on the back or the corset ribbon thing.  I just don't like the look.  To me it seems too high maintenance for me.  However, if I love a dress and I love how it looks, the buttons or corset back aren't going to push me away entirely.  It just might help in narrowing dresses down.

As for necklines, I'd prefer something that goes straight across just because my mom's doesn't like cleavage.  Plus, I'd probably be more comfortable showing as little as possible if students will be at the wedding!  I also would prefer to have straps or a halter.  If I find a strapless that I like, I'd probably add straps to it.  I'm not entirely comfortable with strapless although now that I know Howard and I aren't having dancing, I guess it's a possibility.  I just don't like the way my shoulders look either.

Lastly, I don't like trains.  I would be very concerned with the fact that the train would be touching so much of the floor and picking up so much dirt!  Yuck.  A shorter train on a chiffon gown wouldn't be as terrible though because I imagine it'd be lighter.

Oh, and let's not forget the cost.  I'd like to find a dress that's under $300, but I think I'm willing to go as high as $500 if I find something I really love.  Haha, what a difference from the $5000 budget on Say Yes to the Dress!  There are, of course, Maggie Sottero dresses that are close to $1000 that I love, but I can't see myself spending that much on something worn for only a few hours.

Anyway, all that just so that you have an idea what I'm looking for!

As mom and I approached the store, I actually got a little nervous.  I was glad that the first time we were looking at dresses was casual.  We didn't have an appointment, and we were just going through the dresses on the racks without having anyone try to help us.  The dresses on display on the mannequins were actually ivory, and they looked a little yellow in the light.  But we were able to find white dresses in the mix.  I wish that they had every dress on a mannequin!  It'd make it that much easier to see the detailing and how the dress falls instead of in the clear plastic garment bags on the racks.

There were a couple of dresses that were okay.  However, they weren't all very well-made.  Of course, the less expensive ones weren't as well-made, and some of the beading looked like it could be pulled off.  I made comments for each one that I saw, which cracked mom up.  "This one looks like a tablecloth."  "This looks like an art project (as if someone glued on sequins)."  Better made dresses just weren't my style; I'm sure the dresses would be good for someone else, but for me, I just did not like them.

I did find the halter one, but I didn't like it enough to try it on.  The funniest and best part was when my mom found a strapless dress that she thought was really pretty with intricate details on it.  Then she saw the price tag of $600!  I was kind of happy about that because when I initially told her about a month ago that I liked a Maggie Sottero dress that was about $950, she was appalled at the price!  She kept thinking it'd be easy to find a dress for $99 at David's Bridal.  I know it is possible to find an inexpensive dress due to sales, but yesterday just wasn't the day for it.  I made a comment that all the dresses on sale there had "better be on sale" considering how they looked.  Even then, they were still close to $500, just not the kind of money I want to put down on a dress that's only okay.  At least now my mom understands that the dresses that look better are going to cost a little more.

Well, we walked out of the store empty-handed, and I didn't even try anything on.  Of course, I felt a little dumpy in my denim shorts and my Cleo crocs, so it wasn't exactly the time to try on dresses!  I didn't expect to be looking at wedding gowns.  Of course, I also didn't expect to see a current and former student (brother and sister; they were there for the sister's sweet 16 dress) and their parents at the store either! The mom came up to me and said, "Who's getting married?" and I turned around thinking it'd be a sales person, but it wasn't!  Despite my feeling messy, it was nice to see them.  I love that family so much, so I was eager to show them my beautiful ring.

The next stop will probably be a David's Bridal.  I know it seems early to be looking for a dress since we don't plan on getting married until March 2012, but if certain things work out and we can start planning earlier, we might actually be aiming for an April 2011 wedding!  Oh, maybe I should have started this blog entry with that tidbit first ... whoops!

The Growing Guest List + Post-Ceremony Plans

Although Howard and I will not be getting married until March/April 2012, we've started to do general planning so that we can have a better idea of what the wedding day will include.  One of the things that needed to be done was put together a guest list.  The size of the guest list would determine what exactly we would do after the wedding since we're not really into the whole reception idea.

It seems strange that we wouldn't have a reception, but I've read about how it's more common for couples not to do that; some just have a cake or dessert right after the ceremony.  I also talked to my aunt after the engagement, and she said that she didn't have a reception either.  Instead of having a sit down meal, she had a cocktail hour type deal with hor d'ouvres on passed trays.  That sounded enticing right away.  It would cost a lot less!  Plus, a reception situation would just feel awkward for us because we wouldn't want to have dancing, and it'd be uncomfortable, in my opinion, to just make the rounds and mingle for a bit before moving on to the next table.

Well, since we knew we were going to have appetizers and dessert after the ceremony, we tried to decide what to do.  We could get it catered by a restaurant or just order trays of food from our favorite places, especially things we like to eat like southwestern eggrolls from Chili's!  Yum.  It'd definitely be more fitting for us because we're a rather laidback couple who likes eating getting "To Go" orders from chain restaurants and relaxing with some Travel Channel at home!

The guest list affects this though.  We started wondering if the family members would have an issue that we were having such a casual event instead of sitting down to have a meal.  Also, I have many students (including students who have graduated) who are expecting an invite (or saying they'll crash the wedding if they're not invited because they really want to be there).  Would that mean we'd have to get that much more food?  How do we tell them, "No, you can't come eat the food."

This led us to the idea to have our reception an hour away at the nearest Cracker Barrel!  If you followed the beginning of our April 2010 trip report on DISboards, you would have seen just how much I was obsessing over Cracker Barrel!  We ate there on the way down to Florida and on our way back home.  It's a restaurant that fits our personality especially since we'd actually love to move down South to Georgia!  I could definitely be a southerner, and I wouldn't mind getting an annual pass to WDW, but that's a whole different story!

The cost of a CB "reception" would be very minimal.  Think about it for a minute.  Going to a fancy place might cost a good $80-$120 per person.  Um, hold up ... that better be a buffet of food for each person then!  However, even if everyone ordered whatever they wanted from the CB menu, it could average about $20 per person.  Score!  Howard and I were very into the idea for quite some time, and neither of us could think of anything negative.  Of course, this was before it was mentioned to my parents.

My mom understood why we wanted to do that, and she said that she'd be okay with it.  However, family members might not understand it in the same way.  She didn't want us to feel uncomfortable by that.  We wouldn't be uncomfortable by that because we have the "if-this-bothers-you-don't-come" mentality.  As we began thinking more and more about the CB idea, we started leaning towards having a few things to eat after the ceremony and a smaller group at CB with us (not even including the whole family, more of our cousins and church friends that are our age).  So then it brought us back to the post-ceremony cocktail hour idea.

Seriously, we came full circle!  As we compiled the guest list, we realized we already had about 150 people.  That's extremely funny since we both say we don't have many friends!  Compared to my cousins, for example, I don't know that many people.  But family members already make up almost 75 of that number!  Whoa.  I just talked to my high school friend's mom (she helped us find the engagement ring!) who said that my friend's wedding was only 75 people total!  That wouldn't be possible for us because we can't cut out family.

On top of blood family, there's our church family.  Then after church family, Howard has a few co-workers he knows he wants to invite, and I have more than a few.  I have 15.  I work at a small private Christian school, so it's not possible not to invite all the people who work there.  And the thing is, it's not even out of obligation.  I really WANT them to be there.  My co-workers being at the wedding was one of the reasons why I actually didn't want a destination wedding.  They've supported me so much over the past 3 years as I learned how to be a teacher.  They've supported me when our family dealt with financial issues with the loss of jobs and health issues when my dad had cancer.  I leaned on some of them almost on a daily basis.  I cried to many of them as well, and so many of them prayed over me.  How could they not be at one of the happiest days of my life?

Of course, something I would love is to have my good DISboards friends there too.  Too bad everyone lives all over the place!

With all these people, do we really want to worry about having to get trays of food from this place and that place?  Probably not.  Plus, we could make it a bit fancier if we had it catered, right?  Oh wait!  We know caterers!  We realized that we could have 2 of the members of our church cater our wedding.  That's why the guest list was important; we wanted to see if we could get a general price for a certain amount of people.  We would enjoy having them make everything from Chinese to "American" (yes, I call all non-Chinese food American food!).  We could have different dumplings, fish balls in curry, curry puffs, chicken salad, mini-sandwiches in brioche buns, etc.  They even make their own madeleines and marshmallows!  Even if it cost more than ordering trays from restaurants, the food would be much more "acceptable" for a wedding.  Plus, we'd be more comfortable working with people we know and not having to haggle.  We'd like knowing that our money was going towards sisters in Christ and their business!

Basically that's where we are now.  Wedding planning is really not as fun as I thought it would be!  Of course, as a high school student or a college girl, I always thought it'd be at Russo's on the Bay, but I know I'm not that kind of girl anymore.  This is more our style even besides the whole money issue.  So what do you think?  Would you be disappointed if you didn't have a sit-down traditional reception to attend after a wedding?  Or would you be happy that a wedding wasn't taking up your entire Saturday (wedding in the morning, food around lunch time or early afternoon)?  Would you rather have a meal of your own that you chose or would you rather taste a little bit of everything?