God Loves Him More

It's crazy to think how much can change in a month. Almost one month ago on September 22, I went through a full day of work with no breaks other than lunch due to my prep-less Thursday schedule. I drove home immediately after dismissal so I could have some time to myself before heading back for a school event at night. Then I returned to work and spent another two hours at work in the evening for Back to School Night speaking to parents about the plans for the upcoming year for math, English, and science.

Just less than month later, I am on my 23rd or so day of bed rest and trying to mentally prepare for the early arrival of our baby boy.

The reason for all of the changes is because of what happened that next Friday morning on September 23 at 3AM. It was by far the most terrifying and most traumatic experience I have ever lived through in my entire life. I was sleeping on the couch in the baby's room because I have found that it helped with my back when literally out of nowhere, I was woken up from my dream because I felt liquid of some sort moving through my system at an incredibly fast rate. I thought that maybe I had to use the bathroom, but it was completely out of my control.

I immediately rolled off the couch to the floor, and I still had absolutely no control. One of the more unfortunate symptoms of pregnancy is loss of complete bladder control, but I distinctly remember thinking, "It can't be this bad, can it?" Then I started thinking that maybe my water had broken. I had also read that it doesn't typically come out so quickly the way that it's portrayed on TV and in movies, but I wasn't 100% sure. With the flashlight on my phone, I tried to figure out what it was, but I couldn't tell. I stood up and rushed to the bathroom. However, when I sat down, I was in for a huge shock.

There was blood everywhere. I had had an incident with bleeding just 5 weeks earlier, but it was nothing like this. I called for Howard and banged on the shower door to wake him up. The worst part of this was that it wasn't stopping. Without being too graphic, the baby's room and the bathroom basically looked like a murder scene. Saying that I was bleeding would have been an understatement; the only words that could be used to describe what was happening was "gushing" and "pouring."

Howard called my doctor's answering service knowing that we'd have to go to the emergency room but wanting them to be prepared for our arrival. I was about to break down and cry hysterically, but somehow he remained calm and kept me calm too. Later on, he told me that he was visibly shaking, but I just didn't notice because all I could do was look down. As Howard got me new clothes, I called my parents' house, which I knew would probably scare them because the only time that typically happens is for emergency purposes. My mom said they could pick us up, but I wanted to get to the hospital as soon as possible, and we're less than 15 minutes away.

When we went downstairs to grab my bag and a hoodie for me as well as put on our shoes, I was praying out loud and saying, "God, protect the baby. Keep him safe. We know You love him more than we do." And as scared and worried as I was that I was going to lose the baby after carrying him for 8 months, I started feeling a bit more at peace that God was in control.

Since it was about 3:15AM at that point, it was fairly chilly outside. The windshield on the car kept fogging up, so we were being cautious about that. One good thing was that they finally paved Forest Avenue! It was so bumpy for weeks after they tore it up, and it was such a relief that the drive could at least be a smooth one. I had the directions on my phone even though we've been there before a few times in the past, but it also gave us something to focus on instead of worry. I was texting my mom to keep her updated because she and my dad were going to go to the hospital too. I also texted the director of my school and the headmaster to let them know we were going to the hospital so that they would be prepared for the fact that I was going to miss work. It's also a comfort knowing that they would be praying for me too.

Because we were there a little over a month ago, Howard knew to drive the car to the back of the hospital and drop me off at the emergency room. He walked me in and I told the nurse there that they were expecting me upstairs. She called to confirm and then asked if I wanted a wheelchair. I took her up on that offer because I wasn't sure if constantly moving was hurting the situation. Plus, I didn't think I could maintain my composure and stand much longer. While the nurse took me upstairs, Howard went to park the car.

I filled out the forms that I had already filled out not too long ago after the first very minor bleeding incident. It was surreal being there again. A nurse came in and brought me to triage where she gave me a gown. I asked if I could use the bathroom first before being hooked up to monitors, and thank God when I went, I could tell that the bleeding was coming to a stop at that point.

Howard arrived around that time so he was able to help me change into the robe. The nurse put two different monitors on belts around my belly. One was to monitor baby's heartbeat and the other was to monitor any potential contractions. We immediately saw that baby's heart rate was exactly where it should be, and we both breathed a sigh of relief. I felt that as long as he was okay that everything would be fine.

The craziness of the night wasn't just for me though. There was another couple in the section next to us that was dealing with the woman's fairly intense labor. My mom had arrived at that point, but since only one person was allowed in triage, she had to stay in the waiting room right next to it. She heard that woman in pain and wondered if it was me and if the baby was coming incredibly early, but then she picked up on the constant swearing and knew it wasn't me! That woman was soon transferred to labor and delivery. But then the night continued to be an eventful one as another woman was brought in sitting in a wheelchair clearly in incredible pain, and she had to be taken directly to a room because she was literally going to have the baby right where she was!

It actually took some time before I was fully examined. I went to the bathroom a few times while waiting because of the fact that I was hooked up to an IV. Since I knew the bleeding wasn't heavy at this point and that baby's heartbeat was strong, I was starting to calm down. There were two different residents that came to ask me questions. The first one did the ultrasound and then the second one did the full exam. My mom was allowed to come back and stay with us as well since there was no one else in triage at that point, but my dad stayed in the car. Even my doctor showed up at one point; she actually got angry at some of the staff because she had requested that they not examine me because it was so late and I wasn't cared for right away due to the two women who had their babies so quickly. I think the message might've gotten lost in the hustle and bustle of the staff change. 

Someone from antepartum ended up coming to see me and just casually mentioned how I was staying in the hospital for at least a night. What now? I have to stay at the hospital? Apparently no one told me about that either, so that was news. In all honesty, she was the one person who I wasn't that happy with because she just had a very direct and somewhat blunt way of delivering news or answering questions. For example, I had an IV in my arm already, but they needed another tube of blood for testing because one was left out in the initial testing. She was looking on the back of my hands and my wrists and my other arm to see if she could draw blood, but there was nothing available. She questioned why I hadn't had any water to drink, and I explained to her that since arriving at the hospital, I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything. She asked why I didn't drink any water beforehand, and I had to explain to her that we arrived at 3:30AM, and that I was woken up from my sleep and didn't think as I was changing and getting ready to leave to go to the hospital that I should get a drink of water. When she finally poked me in the back of my left hand, it was one of the most painful pricks I have ever had in my lifetime, and I've experienced plenty! It also continued to bleed for quite some time thereafter. Howard said he could tell it was bad because of the look on my face when I usually never cringe from blood draws. 

Howard and my mom were then led to my bed in the antepartum room. I was taken by a technician to a separate location for an internal ultrasound. She told me that the baby was measuring just a little over 4 pounds at that point. Then she also commented that my placenta was low. I feel that I was asked many times during my pregnancy if I was ever told I had placenta previa, but I never was. This was the first time I heard about a low-lying placenta. After that test, I was brought to the antepartum room to settle down for observation for the remainder of the day and that night.

Thankfully, I wasn't required to be hooked up to the IV bag any longer, which meant going to the bathroom would be a little easier. It was still rather painful though because of the angle of the needle. I really hope the veins on the back of my hand are visible when I have the baby because I don't want to deal with it in my arm again!

Plus, it also meant that I could eat and drink! Lunch was soon, but we weren't sure when it would be delivered, so Howard and my mom went to the cafeteria to get some food. I was really wanting something like a salad and soup from Panera, which my dad was willing to get, but it was just easier to do some from the cafeteria so that my dad wouldn't have to drive far to get it and return with it.

I thoroughly enjoyed that soup since I was so hungry at that point. My mom actually had to help me in the beginning because it hurt so much to bend my right arm due to the IV. I then switched over to using my left hand. It wasn't the most spectacular soup in the world, but it tasted homemade and I liked that they got me a ton of noodles to slurp when I was done with the broth. I was eventually brought a sandwich for lunch, but I didn't eat it at that time though I did enjoy the chips!

My mom left in the afternoon because it was actually my grandfather's birthday dinner celebration. It was just Howard and me for the duration of our stay along with the two other women who were already in antepartum. Most of the time for me was spent like this:

I was hot because of the chux that you sit on, so I didn't even want the socks that they gave me or the blanket that was on the bed. I don't even know what else we did to pass the time, but I was amazingly grateful that Howard stayed with me the entire time. Since we're only about 15 minutes away from the hospital, I told him that he could take a break and go home if he wanted to, but he stuck by my side. Since there were no nurses really stationed in antepartum, he also didn't want to leave me without the ability to get help if I needed it. 

I do remember that during that time, I wrote an email to my boss about having to begin my maternity leave much earlier. The last time I spoke to him about it, I had said I was trying to make it to the end of October, but clearly God had different plans. I had to just stop thinking about my responsibilities at work and accept the fact that my priority was to make sure baby stayed put until my due date. I also didn't have much of a choice because of the bed rest, but for once, I didn't feel as guilty as I thought I might. I was actually pushing myself at work for the past week or so, and Howard and my parents wanted me to start my leave earlier than what I had planned. I was returning home with swollen feet and just falling asleep on the couch with no energy to do anything. I had also had the flu shot and the Tdap, which knocked the wind out of me for a little bit as well. But in the past 8 years or so of teaching, I kept going to work work regardless of how I felt. However, this was one time in my life where work just could NOT be on my list of concerns any longer.

For dinner that night, I was given beef stew. From what I remember, the other women weren't allowed to eat, so I was happy that I could.

I took a few bites of it and wasn't enjoying the beefy flavor, so Howard actually ate it (along with the sticky rice my mom made the day before that my dad brought for him when he picked up my mom). I had half of the chicken and roasted red pepper sandwich from lunch. I look back at these pictures and know that although it was a stressful time during the pregnancy, we also were able to have some laughs. Howard thought the little styrofoam container was a delicious soup of some sort, but in reality, it was just hot water for tea. He was smelling the beef stew in the large container!

That night, I was grateful that we were both able to sleep. Howard was upright in a chair when the night nurse came by and got him a reclining chair and a blanket that was definitely more comfortable for him. During the nighttime hours, one of the women had an emergency situation with the baby's heart rate or something like that as the alarms went off. Then since the other woman who was next to us was discharged, another girl and her husband was brought in in the middle of the night too. I woke up from all the sounds but was able to fall back asleep. It wasn't a deep sleep by any means, but it was still needed.  

Our favorite nurse of the stay was named Rachel, and she did have to come to me in the morning hours because the monitor wasn't picking up baby's heartbeat. He was clearly so done with having that thing on him because any time a nurse would move it around, he would kick it! Not only could I feel it, it was audible on the monitor as well because it would suddenly be a loud thump. Howard and I laughed at his behavior because he was actually more well-behaved with the nicer nurses as if he knew to be cooperative.

I was grateful that after spending so much time in the hospital that I wasn't actively bleeding. I definitely still had some old blood and some spotting, but it was much easier to deal with than what had happened at home. I was hoping and praying that I'd be discharged, but I also knew not to expect it to happen so quickly. Instead, I looked forward to breakfast. Unfortunately, the breakfast I was given was French toast, which is one of my least favorite things to eat in the entire world. I figured I'd be hungry enough to eat whatever was given to me, but this was like a shingle. A dry, whole wheat shingle, haha. Even Howard didn't think it was very edible, and he doesn't mind whole wheat bread or French toast!

Howard went downstairs to the cafeteria to grab us some more edible food for breakfast. We split a cheese omelette that I actually thought was pretty good especially compared to the French toast and some corned beef hash. We also split pancakes, and Howard indulged in some bacon since it's something we never actually buy ourselves. 

We finished our breakfast around 9AM. Then we were visited by nurses and finally the resident who said that we were going to be discharged! They were waiting on the blood test that the nurse Rachel had taken to check that I wasn't anemic from the blood loss. She had to prick me in the right wrist, but she did it so gently that it was such a relief compared to the horrid experience with the back of the left hand. I signed the papers after being told that I had to stay on bed rest, and we walked downstairs (after the difficulty of trying to find someone let us out of the unit because the doors are always locked). I sat in the lobby area as Howard go the car, and I took this picture at 10:36AM. 

I was beyond grateful that I was leaving and going home. I prayed for the one woman who was still in the hospital who would have to stay until her baby was actually born. Personally, I couldn't wait to be home to use my own bathroom and to take a shower and be comfortable sleeping once again. Since then, the pregnancy hasn't exactly gone the way I imagined it would what with the bed rest and the planned early c-section, but that's going to have to be another story for another day. All I know is that this adventure is one that is going to require a lot of trust in Him! I just have to keep remembering that God loves my baby more than I ever can, and He also loves me too more than I can ever imagine.

Mother of Twins

Just 5 days after we got that first positive pregnancy test, I called a new doctor to set up my first appointment. My current gynecologist no longer delivers babies, so I had to find someone new. I didn't know how I could ask those around me for recommendations since I hadn't told anyone else about our news other than my immediate family. We hadn't even told Howard's family yet because we were waiting for my father-in-law's birthday dinner so everyone would be together. In my search online, I decided to look at a former doctor who left my current doctor's office to start her own practice. I discovered that she closed her practice fairly recently, but she recommended a doctor that even delivered her own babies. Well, an obstetrician who delivers other doctors' babies? Sounds good to me!

The funny thing is that when I found her Facebook page, I saw that a few of my friends actually liked her page. What made it even better is that I saw a review from my colleague's wife who raved about her. She was actually the one I wanted to ask since she had 3 babies already, and there you go! Thanks to the internet, I was able to find her without even asking! Thankfully, I was able to get an appointment with them after telling them it was somewhat through a personal recommendation. 

That first appointment was scheduled for Monday, March 21. Although we were excited to be having a baby, it still didn't feel real just yet. Sure, we did tell some more family members and my closest colleagues at that point, but I didn't feel any different. There was a part of me that was kind of like, "Well, I still have to get through my daily work days and plan lessons and pretend that everything's the same." I think I just needed that confirmation from the doctor herself, as if there was any possibility that the 5 positive pregnancy tests I had sitting on the toilet tank were incorrect.

I didn't know what to expect during that first appointment. I'm the type of person who prefers to be prepared as much as possible, so before any medical procedure, I look up anything I can online just so I'm not surprised. However, since there were so many different things that could happen during a first appointment depending on doctors, I wasn't sure. I just knew that I'd probably have to get used to peeing in a cup, haha, which is something I have always hated to do. In fact, I'd prefer to get blood drawn than pee in a cup, but now that I do it at every appointment, I've gotten rather used to it, thankfully! 

With no definite expectations other than that, I was a little nervous. Howard and I sat in the waiting room for quite a bit of time. When we were called in, the nurse asked if we were there because I was pregnant, and I said yes. She replied, "Yeah, the husbands don't usually come to the pap smears!" After the routine questions were asked and my blood pressure and weight were recorded, the doctor came in to ask a few questions of her own and run through her own tests. I was then led into another room for an internal ultrasound. It's funny how the things that you have always dreaded in the past are just things you have to do and can handle when it means it's for your baby! 

The room was set up so that instead of my having to turn to look at the technician's screen, I could just look up at the one mounted on the wall in front of me as I was lying down. When the image popped up, I noticed something unusual, but at the same time, I didn't really think too much of it since it was my first time really looking at an ultrasound carefully. But the technician then said something we both were NOT expecting at all. She said, "As you can see, it's twins ..."

WHAT?! TWINS?! She said she saw it right away, but she wanted to make sure she could see a heartbeat on both babies before she said anything. Howard and I looked at each other with wide eyes. We were shocked. We have joked for years that if we ever had twins, we would name the babies Luke and Leia if it was a boy and girl. Many people have heard the story of how I promised him that those would be their names since he loves Star Wars so much (even though it was kind of a joke, I think, haha). We had also only recently discovered that twins do actually run in his family. I think it was just something that he had forgotten since his extended family lives around the world.

In that brief moment, I had a million thoughts run through my head. I thought about how it would be so much more difficult on us to handle two babies at the same time at the same age and how it would cost twice as much to feed, clothe, and diaper our little ones! 

But as quickly as those worries sped through, they came to a complete halt. The technician actually couldn't find the heartbeat for the second baby. We heard the beautiful sound of Baby A's heart, but there was nothing for Baby B. And suddenly, the fears I had just a minute ago turned into bewilderment. What? How was there no heartbeat? As the news sank in, I began to cry.

The doctor came into the room at that time, and the technician explained to her what had happened. They gave me tissues and explained that it was probably Vanishing Twin Syndrome. Because ultrasounds are done so early nowadays, it's possible to see that there are twins before a miscarriage occurs and one is absorbed by the other twin. In the past, it wouldn't have been as easily detected because by the time they could see the baby in an external ultrasound, the other twin would have disappeared already. She said that instead of having me return in a month for my next appointment, she wanted to check me out again in two weeks to make sure that everything was okay. If I had any bleeding/spotting or any other miscarriage symptoms, I was to call the office.

Howard and I spoke to her a little more and got more information about pregnancy in general. We left the office rather quietly, but when we got to the car, the tears just started flowing again. I know that medically speaking, these things happen, but I was afraid that it was something I did or didn't do that caused it to happen. I'm sure plenty of other women have had the same thoughts I had, but I just felt guilty because I was the one carrying both babies. I also felt guilt about the immediate thoughts I had in the office regarding how I was scared about having to handle two babies at once. 

I went home, and we both called our parents and then texted our siblings to let them know. It was a very confusing time emotionally. I did a lot of reading online in an attempt to have a better understanding of it. Some articles definitely made me cry many times. For example, there was one woman in an article who mentioned it felt like going to a birthday party and a funeral at the same time. We were sad about Baby B, but we were also happy about Baby A. But at the same time, we felt guilty for being happy about Baby A. My emotions would flip flop on an hourly basis. Was I even "allowed" to be sad? Some women are only pregnant with one baby and have a miscarriage. At least we still had one with us, right? There are some women who have infertility issues and can't even get pregnant and stay pregnant with one baby. I should be thankful, right? We also knew that Baby B was already in heaven having the best time. I didn't know what I should or could feel.

We didn't share this information with many people at the time or since then. Other than our immediate family, I only told two of my colleagues at work the next day because I knew I needed their prayer and support. After some time, we also told our small group, but that was much later on when it was easier to talk about it. I just couldn't handle my own emotions and then deal with what other people might say too. My mentor teacher told me that even though we still had one baby, I had every right to be sad about the other baby and that we should give ourselves time to mourn that loss. I mean, even though I was still pregnant, I did lose a baby. One person I told attempted to comfort me by saying that at least we didn't hear both heartbeats during one appointment and then not hear them the next. Sure, I agree that would've been more devastating, but this was still taking an emotional toll nonetheless. When we told our small group, our leader said that sometimes when he has to comfort others due to his pastoral role within ministry, the only thing that can be said is, "That sucks." I couldn't agree more.

During those two weeks of waiting for the next appointment, I was incredibly sick from morning sickness, but it was made worse by the worries. There was a slight chance that the second heartbeat just wasn't audible because the baby was too small. I didn't know what to think. I admit I didn't even know how to pray. The doctor had explained that having multiples increases the risks in pregnancy and that I would have to stop working by a certain week and take it easy to prevent preterm labor. I knew it would've been a strain on my body if that was the case, but I couldn't help but ask God why there had to be another baby in the first place if it wasn't going to survive. It sounds silly, but I even wondered if Baby A knew that something was wrong and missed Baby B.

At the next doctor's visit, we could physically see that the second sac was shrinking. For those of you who saw Howard's Facebook post on our 4th anniversary in May, you already saw this picture. You can see that the second baby didn't grow the way the first baby did. I also had some bleeding in the uterus. As sad as it was, I actually started feeling a little better physically thereafter. Weeks 6-9 of my pregnancy were the worst in terms of morning sickness and stress, but once we had more of a final answer about our twins, we could move on to being happy that Baby A was healthy and growing right on schedule with a heartbeat at 185 beats per minute. We could look forward to being parents!

Writing this entry definitely brought up a lot of the emotions that I thought were long gone. I guess there's no way to truly make the sadness about our other baby go away forever. Even though I will be giving birth to one baby in November, I am and always will be the mother of twins, and we both look forward to meeting our other baby in heaven!

Sharing the Big News: My Family

When we found out that we were pregnant on Wednesday, March 2, we were still a little skeptical. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I took another test the next day in the morning for a confirmation. We didn't tell anyone right away because we wanted to let the news sink in and enjoy it when it was just the two of us. It definitely is different once people know. It felt odd keeping such a secret though because that Friday was my school's annual Pajama Movie Night, and I had to order a well-done burger when a few of my colleagues and I went out to eat before the event. Everything I did made me wonder if I would do or say something that would give it away.

I always thought I'd tell my mom immediately, but it happened to be that my dad's birthday celebration was that Saturday. He always tries to tell me things, and I'll reply, "Mommy already told me." If there's anything new going on with me, he typically hears it through my mom because we talk so often and about everything. I thought it would be extra special to make the announcement specifically to my dad so that he would also see just how important he is to me.

Just to be on the safe side because Howard and I were still doubtful, I took another test on Saturday morning. This was just two days after the last test, and that line could not be any darker! There was no waiting for it to appear; it automatically appeared! It was amazing to see how clear it was; there was absolutely no denying it at that point! I also kept thinking about how great it was that my colleague told me to get the Dollar Tree tests. I mean, I took so many just to confirm!

Okay, now that we had that confirmation, I had to figure out how to reveal the news. I just knew it would be the perfect opportunity because my entire immediate family doesn't get together that often, and I really didn't want to just text it. This was a rare occasion with the best timing! I decided to make a card because I've done that once in a while in the past so it wouldn't be too out of the blue. My dad isn't really someone who likes getting gifts; he'll worry that we spent too much money on him! Anyway, I didn't have the time to make anything fancy with my Cricut or Silhouette, so I used the internet to get a simple black and white picture of a slice of cake and copied and pasted it so that there would be 9 slices on the front since the addition of our baby would make us a party of 9!

When we go to the house, I knew we would have to wait a bit. I wanted to make sure my brother, sister-in-law, and niece were there too. I kept waiting for the best moment because I did want Howard to film their reaction or take pictures if possible. When we went upstairs to the living room, I was thinking it would be the right time because we were all taking pictures of Ava, but my mom wasn't sitting anywhere near my dad. I wanted to make sure that they were together so that she could read it too when he opened the card. Okay, I'd have to wait a little longer.

Later that night, we were in the kitchen for dinner. We had ordered in so it was fairly relaxed, but I thought it was hilarious that my mom had brought up a Seagrams Escape Fuzzy Navel, which is what we used to get in Florida and is the only drink that I ever have that's considered alcoholic. I had to pass on it as I claimed I wanted Martinelli's instead and that I'd have the Seagrams later. I ate a little but not too much because I was feeling a little nervous! 

Finally when we were getting ready to have some dessert, I gave my dad the card. He took it, thanked me, and then put it aside. I told him to open it, and while he was doing that, my mom realized she had miscounted plates, but I didn't want her to miss out on reading it too! I had to tell her to look. My younger brother was on the other side of my dad, so he leaned over to take a look too. 

As I said before, the front of the card just had 9 slices of cake on it with the beginning of the happy birthday song, but instead of finishing the lyrics, I wrote, "Happy birthday dear ..." with the continuation on the inside of the card. On the inside, I wrote "Goong-goong!" because that means maternal grandfather in Cantonese. Even though my parents are already grandparents, they have different titles in Chinese because my brother had a baby. My parents can only be Goong-goong and Por-por because of me because I'm their only daughter. Anyway, I inserted a picture of the pregnancy test and then wrote the following: "We're going to have to split the cake into 9 pieces! Love, Howard and Rae (plus one)."

Soon to be Goong-goong!

We took this at the end of the night. I actually wanted Howard to get a quick shot of the card, but when I picked it up, my dad wanted to be in the picture too, which I thought was adorable.

The reaction was priceless. My dad laughed, but I don't think he realized what it meant or what the picture was until he saw the "plus one" portion. My mom and younger brother both looked up at the SAME EXACT TIME and said "Really?" at the SAME EXACT TIME! And then they both did a little celebratory dance IN THE SAME EXACT WAY. Here's just a snippet of the video:

It made me laugh so much, and even now as I watch the video, I'm reminded of what a great moment it was. I'm really glad that it worked out that my entire family was there. We were saying to my baby niece that she was going to be an older cousin! Now when we get together for dinners and celebrations, we're going to need an even larger table as our family continues to grow!

God's Impeccable Timing

After months and months of trying to get pregnant, there was a part of me in the back of my head that was convinced that maybe we would be one of those couples dealing with infertility. There were articles I read that stated that 6 months to a year was the typical amount of time it took, but at the same time, I knew of people that got pregnant rather quickly or without even trying. I told myself that it would happen at the right time, but I kept thinking that with the health problems I've had since college, I'd come across some issues preventing it from ever occurring. 

At the same time, Howard and I had also been searching for a new place to live. Initially, we started apartment hunting and found an apartment we LOVED in a great location with a ton of space and a reputable landlord only to realize that there were no hookups for a washer/dryer and it wasn't possible to add them up because it was above a dental practice. Another apartment was actually a newly renovated townhouse, and the two of us seemed to really get along with the family and daughter that were renting it. We told them of our interest, and it came down to two parties, but the owner ended up not choosing us and apologized because of how much he knew we loved it. 

We then switched to looking at houses after our parents advised us that it made more sense to pay a mortgage than pay rent, but the houses we liked sold quickly. I didn't think we'd be able to handle a down payment on a house, so we then began poring over the online listings for townhouses. There was one we absolutely adored and even put an offer on it, but the owners insisted that they wanted $5000 less than full price. It wasn't worth it in our opinion, and even our realtor said that their counter offer was ridiculous. 

As you can see, there were many internal struggles and even faith struggles throughout this time because I felt that we were ready to move on to the next stage of our lives. We both cried many times when the pregnancy tests came back negative despite symptoms suggesting otherwise and also when housing situations fell through. 

Of course, now that I have hindsight, I see just how BEAUTIFUL all that time was. Howard and I not only grew stronger as a couple, we really grew stronger in our individual faith in Him. When I was upset, he wasn't. When he was upset, I wasn't. We learned how to support each other and remind each other of God's perfect timing. And suddenly, things seemed clearer to us. We were ready to give up the pen and stop fighting the Creator and Author of our lives. And doesn't it just make sense that things then fell into place? 

On Monday, February 22 of this year, I was on the schedule to share a devotional with the staff at my school during the morning meeting. This is what I wrote and read to my colleagues: 

If you know anything about me or if you've ever sat in on one of my classes, you know just how much I love everything Disney. My husband and I love it so much that we even chose to go to Disney World for our honeymoon. One of my all-time favorite movies is actually the recent 2010 animated film Tangled, which is the story of Rapunzel. I find myself singing or humming the songs without even realizing it. One in particular is called "When Will My Life Begin?" The beginning goes as follows: 

7 AM, the usual morning lineup:

Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floor's all clean,

Polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up

Sweep again and by then it's like 7:15.

After listing some more activities that she partakes in while being locked in her tower, she sings, "Stuck in the same place I've always been" and "When will my life begin?"

Now in no way am I comparing my life with the plight of a young, long-haired girl confined to a secret location, but as I think back on my own inner monologue, I find myself asking myself something to that same effect - when will my life begin?

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I spent my middle school and high school years waiting for the day I could finally have a guy call me his girlfriend. It was as if my life would surely have more meaning and purpose once someone else determined that I was worthy. I eagerly waited for high school graduation when I could stop worrying about the competition for being ranked first and second. Once I began college, I would be able to study what I wanted to study and leave behind the world of classes like economics and history (sorry, Jess). Then after receiving my Bachelor's degree, I was anticipating the moment when I would finally have my MRS degree. Knowing that I would undoubtedly have my spouse by my side for the rest of our lives gave me feelings of comfort and peace. And now that I have been happily married for almost 4 years, there are two things that I look forward to hopefully happening sooner rather than later. Much of what Howard and I have thought about is how things would be easier if we were as financially "set" as my brother or his sister.

Some of you already know that Howard and I have been looking to move. We initially thought we were going to rent a 2-bedroom apartment, which would be an unbelievably amazing upgrade considering we live in a studio right now. After many prayers and seeing God close many doors and giving us the clear "no's" that we ask for, we have been house hunting instead. I feel that once we find the right place and we can move, we'll have more closets to get organized, better kitchen appliances and space to prepare healthier meals, and more room to finally be able to repay our families and host dinners. And don't get me started on just how thrilled we will be when we finally have access to our own washer/dryer!

The other stage of my life that I am looking forward to is having a baby. I have always felt that being called a mom is such a prestigious title. I think fondly about the way my mom parented my older brother and me and feel that it is such a high calling. I thoroughly enjoy my nephew and nieces, but there's part of me that wonders when it will happen for my husband and me. 

During all these instances, it's as if I'm somehow always thinking that at the next phase, I will be set and my life will surely begin. Since the start of the school year, however, I have been learning how to be patient with all the things that I think will mean some sort of completion in my life. I have been reminded time and time again that God is the one whose plans will far surpass any plans I attempt to make. I have worried about many things, but I see over and over again that He orchestrates all these phases. For once, it is as if I am finally learning to fully submit the desires of my heart to the One who knows it all.

Yesterday in church, I was especially touched. There was a new song included in worship called "Death Was Arrested." Part of the lyrics are as follows:

Our savior displayed on a criminal's cross

Darkness rejoiced as though heaven had lost

But then Jesus arose with our freedom in hand

That's when death was arrested and my life began 

Oh your grace so free

Washes over me

You have made me new

Now life begins with you

It's your endless love

Pouring down on us

You have made us new

Now life begins with you

Those lyrics just seem to directly address Rapunzel's and sometimes my thoughts of "When will my life begin?" I admit that I sometimes lose sight of God's plan for my life when I try to take things into my own hands and plan and organize it the way we all plan our lessons and organize our classrooms. 

I hope that over the past 31 years, I have gained wisdom and not just head knowledge and looking to His Word is definitely the best way to get plugged into the true source of wisdom. Some of the many verses that have reminded me of God's wonder can be found in Psalm 139:1-6, 13-16.

1 You have searched me, Lord,

    and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;

    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;

    you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue

    you, Lord, know it completely.

5 You hem me in behind and before,

    and you lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

    too lofty for me to attain.

13 For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you

    when I was made in the secret place,

    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;

    all the days ordained for me were written in your book

    before one of them came to be.

When I am reminded of how great He is and how small I am and how much He knows and how little I know, it kind of puts me back in my place to realize that I can hope and plan all I want, but ultimately, He is the one who is in control since "all the days ordained for me were written" even "before one of them came to be."

Just a few hours after sharing that with everyone, Howard texted me to tell me that after adjusting our initial offer, the new offer we had made on a house the day before was accepted! And then as you all read in my previous post, it was just a little over a week when we saw those two lines indicating that we were going to be having a baby! It's funny looking back on everything that happened and seeing how God was in charge the entire time even though we kept trying to control our steps and do things according to our own timing. It was clear that He was wanting us to surrender and trust, and I can truthfully say that I'm glad He waited for us to get to that point. Because in the end, what do I know? Nothing. What does He know? Everything.

When Those Two Lines Appeared

"Can you stop at the store and get like, steak? Or tofu? Some kind of protein?" That was a slightly odd text for me to send Howard back at the beginning of March.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I would much rather enjoy plentiful helpings of stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole at Thanksgiving instead of the turkey or beef. I've been known to choose an entree at the restaurant based on what comes with it on the side. My mom used to remind me when ordering that I had to choose something with protein in it because, in my opinion, that's just not the best part of the meal so I would avoid it if I could. So when I had this sudden craving for protein, I had a feeling something might be different.

Howard came home from work and stopped at our local store for two small steaks. I was excited to have some beef, which is somewhat rare in our household. But because it was an out of the blue craving, I decided that maybe I should take a pregnancy test in case there was a need for my steak to be cooked all the way through. In all honesty, this was probably the first time I didn't really have high hopes for what the test would reveal. This was the second batch of pregnancy tests that we had purchased, which meant I had gone through some months of feeling hopeful and then ultimately feeling disappointed when the test came out negative. I had come to the point in my walk with God when I realized that if He wanted us to be parents, it would happen in His time instead of our own. Taking the test this time was done just out of precaution.

Even so, there's something somewhat nerve-wracking about waiting even if it's for just a short interval. I set the test on the top of the toilet tank and sat down on the bathroom rug with the timer on my phone set for 3 minutes. When the buzzer indicated that it was time to look, I stood up and peered over and saw ... nothing. Nothing had happened. There wasn't even one line for the control. I was wondering what happened because it didn't look as if liquid had even moved at all, so I picked it up and for some strange reason, looked underneath the test to see if I could visually detect any issues with the test. Then because I tipped it one direction, the liquid moved down the testing strip and two lines automatically appeared. The testing line wasn't as strong as the control line, but it was undoubtedly there.

I froze. The test had to be faulty, right? But then again, any line even if it's faint means that there's HCG present. I called Howard to the bathroom and told him what happened. Maybe I put it on a spot of the toilet tank that wasn't level. But I had done that before in the past. We decided we would just try again with another test. Thankfully, my colleague at work told me to just grab the ones from Dollar Tree because that's what she had successfully used for her two kids, so I didn't have to feel bad about spending so much money on pregnancy tests! But since I had just used the bathroom, I had to keep drinking water and wait a bit at first! We were in denial at that point because of all the times I've read about tests that were faulty.

About 20 minutes later, I took the second test. We both waited in the bathroom and when the 3 minutes was up, we turned to read the results. There it was again! That second line! We just stood there staring at each other as we were not quite sure what to believe. In the past, I wondered if I or both of us would cry especially after wanting a baby for a while, but we were just in shock and kind of laughing at what was before our eyes.

The rest of the night, I kept saying, "Am I pregnant?" but it was closer to a statement than an actual question. We kept looking at each other and then bursting out in laughter. I know that any line means there's HCG in the urine, but I just couldn't fully believe it. We decided I'd take another test in the morning when the HCG is supposedly the strongest, and that third test confirmed it! What?! So now we know we're definitely having a baby?! We're going to be parents?!

And yes, Howard did cook my steak all the way through.

False Alarm

It was just one day. I didn't really think much of it. However, when it got to the third, fourth, and fifth day, I couldn't help but wonder, "Am I pregnant?" It ended up being 8 whole days of wondering if Howard and I were about to be parents, but clearly by the title of this post, that didn't happen. 

The fact that my body is fairly scheduled really made me think after just two days that I might be pregnant. Howard and I kind of just joked about it at the beginning because we hadn't planned on having a kid in the near future, so it was kind of something that seemed impossible. But as each day passed by, there was a mix of excitement and fear. I didn't tell anyone about it other than my colleague at work who was my mentor teacher and is now the director of the school because I didn't know if any of these things would interfere with a school trip we had coming up.

Howard and I decided that if I was still late when the weekend rolled around that he would go buy a pregnancy test. I was actually anticipating having to find out for sure that way. Though we're not exactly where we should be to have a kid yet (I know there are so many out there who have told us there's never going to be a "right" time where everything is settled), there was a part of me that was honestly hoping that I would be mainly because if I were pregnant, it was clearly all God. If we were going to be parents, we trusted that God wanted us to be parents. If we tried planning all of this by ourselves, I knew it wasn't going to happen for possibly a few more years. 

As we approached that Saturday, I couldn't shake the thoughts from my mind. Each day as I got up for work, I was a little giddy about the possibility and nervous at the same time. I knew there would be a great deal of change if I were. What would I do about work next year? How and when would we move? Would we be able to afford all of it? But then when Thursday rolled around, all the hopes I had were suddenly dashed. I wasn't pregnant. The logical part of me breathed a big sigh of relief. Phew, no need to stress about money and whether or not we were ready to give up our selfish "it's-just-the-two-of-us" ways. 

But as the reality of it settled in, I was deeply saddened. That night when Howard and I went to bed, I moved in close to him unable to truly explain what I was feeling. It seemed silly to be sad. There was never a baby, so how could I be sad that suddenly there wasn't? There was no real loss. The only way that I could express what I was feeling was through tears. Lots and lots of tears. 

It's only been 3 months since that week, and I don't know that I'm completely recovered. Sometimes the sappiest of commercials on Hulu will set me off again. I think November must have turned on a valve of some sort that makes my tear ducts leak a lot more often than it used to! Howard and I will be watching something completely non-baby related, and I'll have tears in my eyes! 

Just a few months earlier, I knew in my heart that years from now, we'd look back on this false alarm and think about how God's timing was perfect. The amazing thing is that I feel that God has been teaching us so much in these past two months. We didn't have to wait to look back on this with hindsight. I know there's more to this story than what I can see right now, but I'm reassured in knowing that God is so great that He can work in people who are experiencing true pain and even those who are dealing with minor "silly" sadness. 

Laundry Adventures

The weekends used to be a time for relaxation, but now our washer has completely given up on functioning. That means that we need to go to my parents' house to get the laundry done. Thankfully, they're okay with our doing this because I can't imagine having to wait in a laundromat. At least at my parents' house, I can eat and relax. Best of all, I can have a cup of tea and talk with my mom! 

Today I told Howard to stay at home. He started a medication this morning, and I wasn't sure if he'd have side effects from it. Plus, he still hasn't had time to just give his foot a rest because he went to work this entire week when he still needed time to recover. I lugged two loads of laundry using deluxe utility totes from Thirty-One (seriously, it's their greatest product ever along with their large utility tote) to the elevator. Strangely, I was there waiting for quite some time! I actually went back to the apartment and rang the doorbell for Howard to open it because I didn't know what to do! He got ready to help me carry it down the stairs when I finally heard the "ding" of the elevator. Of course, running back with two heavy bags meant I missed it, haha. But it did come back after another 30 seconds or so when I pressed the button. It gave me just enough time to snap this picture on my phone!

The first load took longer to dry because I did have two towels in there and two pairs of sweatpants. I ended up just bringing Howard's work shirts and our work pants back home instead of drying them at my parents' house. I'm used to hanging the stuff up on our Ikea drying rack anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. It was the first time I had to hang up 15+ shirts at once though!

Hopefully, it'll get a little easier to do laundry because once I popped the first load in, I went to Target to pick up Woolite and a plastic bin to do some hand washing. I can at least get my work tops done that way especially since I don't want to stick them in a washing machine anyway. Of course, the Up & Up brand was only $4.85 after the 10% Cartwheel offer as compared to the $8.99 I would've paid for the same amount of Woolite even with a $1 coupon, so Target brand it is!

One day we will have a full washer and dryer, and I know it will be utter bliss! Until then, I'm glad that I can at least do laundry in style!

Thirty-One Makes Laundry Easier

Two weeks ago, our washer just stopped completely. We've had error messages before. The last time it was an issue with the dryer, so we started hanging up our clothes to dry. However, this one was indicating an issue with the motor. Alas, I think it was time to put it to rest. Unfortunately, the space for our washer is so narrow that there aren't many options when buying a new one. In fact, from the research we did, the only one who could get would be one similar to the one we have that also has bad reviews. It just doesn't make sense to shell out so much money for a washer/dryer that will break down after a bit of time when the cost is so close to a full-size machine!

Thankfully, we were able to get some laundry done today at my parents' house. It was so crazy that we were able to bring two weeks of white laundry and some of Howard's work shirts and wash it in just ONE WASH. In ours, it would be three loads. Plus, it was definitely a treat for our laundry to get dried so that we wouldn't have crunchy clothes because of air drying it. 

I know it sounds like such an advertisement, but the fact that I had Thirty-One bags made it a lot easier. I had the clothes in clear plastic garbage bags since I also use those totes for groceries, but it made transporting it a breeze without having to worry about rips or flashing underwear to the world. Howard has the deluxe utility tote, and I had the large utility tote. Even something mundane can look stylish. Haha, as if we care about being stylish, but the bright colors and prints make it fun!

Breakfast in Bed

Howard and I rarely bring food in the bedroom. Wait, being that we're in a studio apartment, technically we always do since our bedroom is also our living room, which is also our kitchen, haha. Okay, let me rephrase that. Howard and I rarely eat food in bed because of crumbs and such. When I'm sick, I'll have dry cereal or hubs will make soup for me. Other than that, we're usually in the "living room" portion of our apartment.

A little over a week ago, there was definitely a reason to eat something on the bed! On the last day or our honeymoon in Disney World, we had apple turnovers from Main Street Bakery. This was our first and only visit to the Main Street Bakery before the remodel and the addition of Starbucks. I had wanted an apple turnover for the longest time, so we bought two the night before when we were at Magic Kingdom for Extra Magic Hours. EMH lasted until 3am, so we were too exhausted to get up for a park despite having annual passes, so we relaxed that morning with this delicious treat!

I was also extremely worn out, so a morning in with some episodes of 24 on Netflix just seemed so perfect.

When my mom and I went to Mother Mousse to pick up my grandfather's birthday cake after school one day, I saw that they had apple turnovers and picked one up so that Howard and I could share it for breakfast the next day. It just seemed appropriate that we enjoy an extremely simple breakfast in bed!

This was nowhere near as good as the one from Disney World. Even looking at the pictures, you could see that there's a huge difference. But the pastry was good as was the frosting drizzle. The apple part wasn't the best, and there were raisins in it as well, which always throws me off. When there are raisins in things where I don't expect them (like sometimes there are golden raisins in fried rice at Chinese restaurants), I just have to think, "Why can't people leave well enough alone?!"

Despite it being in a completely different class all on its own, it was still just a tiny taste of Disney World that we could have at home.

A Sunday Recap

You know what happens when Howard and I commute home? I get back, eat dinner, take a shower, and promptly fall asleep. A commute means I am completely useless once we're home, so please pardon the extra late blog entry. I also apologize if it doesn't flow as well as it should, but I just got up from a 4+ hour nap and ate a cup of peaches and some "zha jiang mian." This was written in a half-asleep, hungry stupor, haha. 

Even though it's summer vacation right now for me, I still enjoy the weekends because it means spending time with my husband! I'm thankful I get to see him every day anyway since I have friends who have husbands who are in the military or who have jobs that require them to be away from home for periods of time for work. Personally, I don't think I could handle that. 

Though Howard and I have been married for over 2 years at this point, we're not sick of each other, haha. We've had a few people ask whether or not the honeymoon phase is over and state that it's good to fight once in a while. Hopefully, there's nothing wrong with the fact that we don't really argue about things. We explain to them that we had a rather rough first year of marriage with my having to be taken to the hospital twice, so the other minor issues are nothing in comparison. We both have made mistakes, and there are times that we get slightly frustrated with each other, but we just stay quiet for a little bit (that's how I process things) and then we come back together and can talk about what happened and what might have been hurtful or why we felt the way we felt. I actually think we're harder on ourselves when we do something "incorrectly." I can kick myself and get really upset if I "mess up" when making dinner, and Howard ends up having to comfort me whereas I have heard of other couples where the husband gets upset with the wife for making a mistake.  

Haha, I'm sure things might be different when we have little ones and there are other human beings in the mix too. Until then, we'll enjoy this time we have in our "honeymoon phase." Maybe it's also because we only saw each other on the weekends while we were dating and engaged, so being able to see each other every day is such a treat! Or maybe it's because people bond when there's a common dislike. You know how you can get along with other students in your class when you complain about assignments or talk about how challenging a teacher is? Well, maybe we get closer because we bond over our mutual dislike of whatever cleaner or spray that is used in the hallway of our apartment.

Yeah, it can get pretty disgusting and nauseating. I've mentioned it before that I started buying scented candles so that our apartment could smell pleasant. Unfortunately, candles would NOT have helped today at all! As we were getting ready to leave to take our walk to meet my parents to go to church, the smell started seeping under the door. The spray or cleaner hasn't been used in a while, so this was unexpected. It overtook our small space, and all we could do is leave earlier to escape the odor! While we waited for the elevator, I took the above picture. I commented on Instagram that as much as we hate the smell, I think that even the "negative" things should be documented as it will definitely be a memory of our first place together! I have to say though that I'd much rather have an issue with a smell every once in a while than an infestation of bugs or other creatures!

Our pastor was back at the pulpit after returning from a short term missions trip to Japan. Actually, all of our STM people were back, safe and sound! How wonderful that was to hear this past week! Though I can't imagine ever going on a mission trips (so far, missions has always been the gift where I consistently score a big fat ol' 0 when taking spiritual gifts tests!), I felt better when the pastor recently mentioned that those who pray for the people who are away are actually taking part in it as well and that if they are victorious, so are we. I know I'm completely butchering what he said, but that's what I took away from it. So yes, even though Howard and I did not physically go to any of the 3 trips this past summer, we were keeping them in prayer. 

Anyway, I totally digressed, but who's surprised? The pastor continued his sermon series on 2 Corinthians about what it means to be unveiled (2 Cor 3:12-18). I have to say that the messages and the Sunday School lessons have really shown me just how amazing the Bible is. We're in the Survey of the New Testament class even though I initially wanted to do the Old Testament. I actually preferred the OT more than the NT probably because it was "easier" to some degree. I mean, other than the difficult to understand prophecies, reading the stories and the history can be fun! Yes, I even think that learning about Leviticus can be interesting! But that could be because I took Intro to Judaism in college and took two semesters of OT Survey in seminary. Ending up in the NT class has actually been a blessing because it "forced" me to open my eyes to new things. As we are in the midst of Paul's letters in both Sunday morning service and in Sunday School class, I'm like, "What the what?!?" I mean, how could one dude write these wonderful letters full of theology, correction and thanksgiving years and years ago so that it was applicable to those in the early churches yet also applicable to our lives today? CRAZINESS. Seriously.

So with my Bible, my notebook (yes, it is a Wall-E notebook!), and a "paigwut cheung" (it's pieces of sparerib and rolls of noodles aka "pillow" to me), I get ready for Sunday School almost every week. The few times I was too sick to attend church or when we had to attend a local church close to home, I was like, "But we're missing class!!!" Though I admit that I don't always understand the history that is presented (um, I'm horrible with modern day geography, so the geography of biblical times can be a little difficult to grasp too), I try to take in as much as I can. I especially love when there are pictures. Haha, I know that might sound juvenile, but it really makes more sense when there are visuals! Though I might not get too much from the maps other than understanding which cities were port cities, sometimes the pictures from today make the Bible come alive.

For example, when studying Corinthians, we were shown a picture of the modern day Corinth Canal. Suddenly it made sense as to why the city of Corinth was the way it was during Bible times with all the different people passing through and all the sins that might accompany a trade city. Then we were also shown a cross section of the Roman roads, and imagining all the traveling that occurred over those roads is mind-boggling. Today we were shown a picture of Paul's jail cell. All of these things would be such sights to see in real life! 

All of that to say that I definitely have a greater appreciation of the New Testament now!  

Once Sunday School was finished, Howard and I went to pick up our lunch. The "paigwut cheung" usually fills us enough so that we can wait until we get home to eat lunch, which is helpful for me. I appreciate a hot cup of tea when I eat a lot of Chinese food, and having the "cheung" is already testing the waters for my sensitive stomach. Since my parents had to take care of a lot of things regarding my grandma and the home care worker, my dad suggested we get a ride back home with my uncle who is in NY for a bit. Neither of them would be leaving until much later, so Howard and I decided to commute home since we were already exhausted and really wanted to be home. Before we started our trek back, I met up briefly with my cousin Karen who had custom ordered something I'll post on another day. 

Though commuting can be rather long and tiring, the one thing I like about it is talking to Howard. Even though we do see each other every day, I really like our Sunday conversations because we usually comment on Sunday School and things like that. Having to walk to the bus stop, wait for a bus, take the ferry, take another bus, and walk home gives us plenty of time to do that!

The heat on the last leg of our journey was getting to be a bit unbearable especially since I was wearing dark colors and my "blanket" (aka hair, haha) was on my back. Since the bus that's closer to the apartment doesn't run on Sundays, it can be quite a long stretch to get to our final destination, but we had a rather lively conversation about this article about kids sharing I had seen people post on Facebook last week. I brought Howard up to speed with what it said and we talked about what was right and wrong (in our eyes) about the blogger and/or the commenting readers' views. By the way, in searching for that link, I found this blog in response to the original article, which I think I like more. I won't recap everything we talked about, but in summary, we both agreed with the way things are done with the little kids at my school. Yes, the kids have to share, but they also have to wait for the original kid to have his/her turn with something first. The times that I've subbed and watched the Pre-K and K kids on the playground equipment in the courtyard shows just how well that works. Two kids get to the swings or whichever toy first, but others also want to ride too. They just sit patiently by the wall until the few minutes are over before it is time to switch it up and give others a chance to swing as well. There you go. Both points are taught in that simple exchange: sharing and waiting patiently. Does it really have to be that complicated?

Anyway, the "how we're going to raise our kids" chats are always fun even though it's obviously going to be much easier talking about all the things we'll do versus having to implement them in real life, but it's still good to discuss beforehand, right? Right.

Hey, this update came full circle. I like my best friend, I like going to church, I like my best friend. Done. Good night all! Oh, and by all, I mean the 5 of you who read this, haha.

At the Zoo: Then and Now

Back in 2009, Howard and I went to our local zoo on a date. We knew it was really small and weren't expecting too much. It's the kind of zoo that you'd only go to if you lived in the borough. It's definitely a place to take the elementary school kids on an easy field trip because all the animals could be enjoyed within the time frame of a regular school day. But for a Saturday together, it was definitely a memorable date.

A little over 5 years later, Howard and I went back to the zoo and had a blast! They added more animals for us to enjoy! Though it may never be the Bronx Zoo, San Diego Zoo, or Smithsonian National Zoo, I really like that we actually have a zoo just 5 minutes away from our house and free admission thanks to tickets my mom still has saved from when I was a kid. 

We very rarely have date-dates out anymore since married life comes with responsibilities, but it's always nice to have fun days like this. The greatest thing was that because it's a local zoo, we made kind of a last-minute decision this morning to head on over there. Stay tuned for a more detailed blog post (or posts!) of our zoo fun!

Celebrating Our 2nd Anniversary

In lieu of a longer blog update, I'm posting this one picture from our wedding day! We both worked today, and we didn't do anything special considering it is a Monday and all. However, my hubs knows his way to my heart as he didn't bring home flowers or jewelry for me because I'm not that type of girl; instead, he brought home a meatball hero and a shrimp parm hero from the city after calling my dad to find the right place to get them, and he brought home two cupcakes from Crumbs!

Isn't my guy amazing? I think so. Love you, hubs!